近日，知名舞蹈家楊麗萍因網友的一條評論上了“熱搜”，同時這條評論也在網上引起熱議。
事情源於本月4日，楊麗萍的團隊賬號在某短影片平臺曬出一段楊麗萍吃火鍋的影片，影片中的她身穿白色長裙，舉止優雅。
但本該是一段讓人心情愉悅的影片，留言區卻出現這樣一條評論：
"一個女人最大的失敗是沒一個兒女，所謂活出了自己都是蒙人的，讓你再年輕30年，到了100歲，你的容顏難道還能保護30歲樣子，即使你再美再優秀都是逃不過歲月的摧殘，到了90歲，兒孫滿堂那種天倫之樂。"
更為意外的是，短短時間內，這條評論的點贊數竟然破萬，可見不少網友是認同此觀點的。
但這個說法更多引來的是反駁：絕大部分網友認為每位女性都有權利選擇是否生孩子，而不是必須生孩子，女性不應該被當作生育的工具；也有一些網友認為：每個人都有自己的活法，別人無權對他人的生活指手畫腳。
除了網友，戚薇、李若彤、陳數等眾多明星也紛紛出來發聲：
隨後，楊麗萍在評論區回覆爭議內容，發表了自己的看法：
“人會走向衰老，走向死亡，誰也救不了你，但你的精神是年輕的，你的氣息是美好的，就會散發出來一種特殊的味道。只要自己過得好，沒有傷害其他人，就可以。謝謝大家的理解和愛，望我們都能自在，如我。”
該話題熱度之所以持續發酵，因為已經超越事件本身，上升到了“女性生育自由”的討論。
從確認生育權作為基本人權到今天，整個社會可以說形成了一定程度上的共識，即生育是自由的。但我們仍要問，作為女性，真的有不生育的自由了嗎？當一位女性決定不生育，她會遭遇什麼？小編之前看過一個TED演講，演講者克里斯滕·雷萊特從小就知道自己不想要孩子，但在尋求絕育的過程中，她遇到了太多阻礙。在這篇有力的演講中，克里斯滕·雷萊特表達了自己很重要的一個觀念，那就是：母親身份是女性身份的延伸，而不是定義。
演講文字：
I recognized the roles that were placed on me very early. One persistent concept that I observed -- existing in our language, in our media -- was that women are not only supposed to have children, they are supposed to want to. This existed everywhere. It existed in the ways that adults spoke to me when they posed questions in the context of "when." "When you get married ..." "When you have kids ..."
我在小時候就認識到了自己在社會上的角色。據我觀察，有一個根深蒂固的觀念，存在於我們的語言和媒體中。那就是女人不僅應當有孩子，而且她們自己也想要有孩子。這種觀念無處不在。當大人們在“當你······”的語境中提問，它就存在於他們跟我說話的方式裡。“當你結婚的時候······”“當你有了孩子······”
And these future musings were always presented to me like part of this American dream, but it always felt to me like someone else's dream. You see, a value that I have always understood about myself was that I never wanted children. And as a kid, when I would try to explain this, this disconnect between their roles and my values, they often laughed in the way that adults do at the absurdities of children. And they would tell me knowingly, "You'll change your mind."
對未來的這些思考總是呈現在我面前，就像美國夢一樣，但對我來說，這就像是別人的夢想。我一直了解自己的價值觀，那就是我從來沒想過要孩子。但我很小的時候，我試圖去向大人們解釋他們的角色和我價值觀的脫節時，他們經常笑我，以一種大人對待小孩的無稽之談的方式。並且他們彷彿什麼都知道一樣告訴我，“你會回心轉意的。”
And people have been saying things like that to me my whole life. Otherwise polite conversation can turn intrusive fast. "Does your husband know?"
一輩子都有人這樣對我說。但是，禮貌的談話會很快變成侵入性的談話。”你丈夫知道嗎？”
"Do your parents know?" "Don't you want a family?" "Don't you want to leave anything behind?" And the primary buzzword when discussing childlessness, "That's selfish."
“你的父母知道嗎？”“你不想要一個家庭嗎？”“你不想在身後留下點什麼嗎？”在討論無子女問題的時候，最流行的詞就是，“這太自私了。”
There are countless reasons a woman may have for choosing to abstain from motherhood, the majority of them not self-prioritizing. But it is still socially acceptable to publicly vilify women as such, because none of these reasons have made it into the social narrative. When I was little and learning about the inevitability of maternity, it was never explained to me the commonness of these factors that women consider like the risk of passing on hereditary illness, the danger of having to stop life-saving medication for the duration of your pregnancy, concern about overpopulation, your access to resources, and the fact that there are 415,000 children in the foster-care system in the United States at any given time. Reasons like these, many more, and the fact that I don't like to leave things of this magnitude to chance, all informed my decision to become surgically sterilized.
一個女人有無數的原因選擇不做母親。她們中大多數都沒有優先考慮自己。但社會還是選擇接受這種公開詆譭婦女的想法，因為沒有任何理由使絕育變為社會上一種流行的說法。我小時候就知道了做母親的必然性，但從沒人跟我解釋婦女需要考慮的因素，像遺傳疾病的風險，懷孕期間不得不停止使用救命藥的危險，人口過剩的擔憂，獲取資源的機會，以及在美國有415000個孩子被寄養的事實。像這樣的原因還有很多，為了杜絕這些問題發生，我決定做絕育手術。
I began my research eagerly. I wanted to fully understand all that was going to come with undergoing a tubal ligation, which is just another word for getting your tubes tied. I wanted to know approval to aftermath, satisfaction rates, risks, statistics. And at first, I was empowered.
我開始熱切的做相關的調查。我想要完全瞭解關於輸卵管結紮手術的一切，簡單來說，就是把你的輸卵管打個結。我想知道對善後工作的認可程度，滿意度，風險，統計資料。開始的時候，我大受鼓舞。
You see, the way the narrative has always been taught to me, I would have thought that women who didn't want children were so rare, and then I learned one in five American women won't be having a biological child -- some by choice, some by chance.
要知道，過去的觀念還一直影響著我，我本以為不想要孩子的女性非常的少，但是後來我瞭解到，在美國，有五分之一的女人不想生育孩子。有些是自願的，有些是偶然的。
But I was not alone. But the more I read, the more disheartened I became. I read women's stories, trying desperately to get this procedure. I learned how common it was for women to exhaust their finances appealing to dozens of ob-gyns over many years, only to be turned down so many times, often with such blatant disrespect that they just gave up. Women reported that medical practitioners were often condescending and dismissive of their motivations, being told things like, "Come back when you're married with a child."
所以我不是一個人在戰鬥。但是我瞭解得越多，就變得越沮喪。我瞭解了很多女人的經歷，她們不顧一切地想要做絕育手術。但很多女人為此傾家蕩產，很多年來，諮詢了幾十個婦產科醫生，得到的結果只有被拒絕，還經常受到不公的待遇，最後她們都放棄了。很多婦女報告說，執業醫生經常是高傲的，對她們的決定不屑一顧。她們得到的回答往往是，“等你結婚有小孩後再來吧。”
But women who did have children, who went to go get this procedure, were told they were too young, or they didn't have enough children, which is very interesting, because the legal requirements in my state for getting this kind of surgery were, "Be at least 21 years old," "appear of sound mind, acting of your own accord," and "have a 30-day waiting period." And I was perplexed that I could meet all of these legal requirements and still have to face a battle in the exam room for my bodily autonomy. And it was daunting, but I was determined.
但當女人生完孩子，再去做絕育手術的時候，醫生又會說她們太年輕了，或者她們還想要更多的孩子，這簡直太嘲諷了。因為在我所在的州，做這種手術的法律規定是“21歲以上，”“心智健全，精神正常，”還要“30天的等待週期。”讓我不解的是，我滿足所有的法律要求，但為了我身體的自主權，在檢驗室仍然還要面臨一場戰爭，這非常令人氣餒，但我決心已定。
I remember I dressed so professionally to that first appointment.
我記得第一次赴約的時候，打扮得非常職業。
I sat up straight. I spoke clearly. I wanted to give that doctor every piece of evidence that I was not the date of birth in that file. And I made sure to mention things like, "I just got my bachelor's degree and I'm applying to these doctoral programs, I'm going to study these things." And "my long-term partner has this kind of business," and "I've done research on this for months.
我坐得筆直。講話也很清晰。我想讓醫生知道，我不是檔案裡那麼年輕。我要確定傳達出這些資訊，“我剛剛取得學士學位，正在申請一些什麼博士學位專案，我將來要做些什麼研究。”並且“我的長期伴侶也是做這行的，”“關於絕育，我也已經做了幾個月的研究了。
I understand everything about it, all the risks." Because I needed the doctor to know that this was not a whim, not reactionary, not your 20-something looking to go out and party without fear of getting knocked up ... that this supported something integral to who I was.
我瞭解各個方面和所有的風險。”因為我要讓醫生知道，這不是心血來潮，也不是要反對什麼，更不是20來歲出去聚會擔心肚子會被搞大——這麼做只是為了讓我成為我自己。
And I understand informed consent, so I fully expected to be reeducated on how it all worked, but ... At one point, the information being given to me started to feel agenda'd, interlaced with bias and inflated statistics. The questions began to feel interrogative. At first they were asking me questions that seemed to understand my situation better, and then it seemed like they were asking questions to try to trip me up. I felt like I was on the witness stand, being cross-examined.
我瞭解、知情並同意，我也做好了被教育的準備，但是...某種程度上，給我的資訊就像事先安排好一樣，交織著偏見和誇張的統計資料。我開始感覺像在被質問。起初他們問的問題，像是為了能夠更好地理解我的情況，但後來的問題卻像是有意引導我答錯。我感覺自己像在證人席上被盤問。
The doctor asked me about my partner. "How does he or she feel about all of this?" "Well, I've been with the same man for five years, and he fully supports any decision I make for my body." And he said, "Well, what happens in the future, if you change partners? What happens when that person wants children?" And I didn't quite know how to react to that, because what I was hearing was this doctor tell me that I'm supposed to disregard everything I believe if a partner demands children. So I told him not to worry about that. My stance on childbearing has always been first date conversation.
醫生問了關於我伴侶的情況。“他的態度是怎麼樣的？”“我跟他在一起五年了，他完全支援我對自己身體的任何決定。”他說：“好吧，如果將來你換伴侶了怎麼辦？萬一那個伴侶想要孩子呢？"我真的不知道怎麼回應了，因為我所聽到的是，這個醫生認為，如果伴侶想要孩子的話，我就應該拋棄我的信仰，所以我告訴他不要擔心這些，關於生小孩的態度，我一定會在第一次約會的時候宣告的。
He then asks me to consider how "in 20 years, you could really come to regret this" ... as though I hadn't. I told him, "OK, if I wake up one day and realize, you know, I wish I'd made a different decision back then, the truth is, I'd only removed a single path to parenthood. I never needed biology to form family anyway."
然後他又問我，如果20年後你真的後悔了怎麼辦? 好像我一定會後悔似的。我告訴他，“如果我有天醒來，意識到我希望當時做了一個不同的決定，但其實我只是少了一條通往做父母的路，無論如何，我從不需要透過生物血緣關係來組建家庭。”
And I would much rather deal with that any day than deal with one day waking up, realize I'd had a child that I didn't really want or was prepared to care for. Because one of these affects only me. The other affects a child, their development, their well-being --
我寧願隨時面對這件事，而不是有天醒來，意識到我有個孩子，而我卻不想要這個孩子，或者還沒準備好去照顧他。因為其中的一個選擇影響到的只有我。而另一個選擇則會影響到孩子，包括孩子們的成長和幸福——
and human beings are not to be gambled with. He then tells me why no one was going to approve this procedure, certainly not he, because of a concept called medical paternalism, which allows him, as my well-informed provider, to make decisions for me ... based on his perception of my best interest, regardless of what I, as the patient, want or believe. He takes this opportunity to step out and discuss my case with my potential surgeon, and through the door, I hear him describe me as a little girl.
而孩子們從來不應該被拿來賭博。然後他告訴我，為什麼沒有人批准你這個手術，當然不是他，因為有個概念叫醫學家長主義，讓這個見多識廣的醫生作為我醫學上的家長，從而替我做決定...基於他的角度，為我的利益最大化進行考量，卻無視我這個病人想要的或者相信的。他藉機出去，與我的主刀醫生討論我的情況，隔著門，我聽到他把我描述成一個小女孩。
I was so offended. I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to explicitly explain to each one of these providers how they were treating me, that it was belittling and sexist, and I didn't have to take it. But I did take it. I swallowed every sharp word in my throat, clenched my jaw, and instead answered each one of their condescending questions and statements. I had come here looking for objectivity and support and instead I felt dismissed and silenced, and I hated myself for it. I hated that I was letting people disrespect me repeatedly. But this was my one shot.
我特別生氣。我想要捍衛自己的權利。我想向每個醫生明確解釋，他們是怎麼對我的，貶低我，歧視我的性別，我沒有必要受這些氣。但我還是接受了。我把每個刻薄的言語吞進肚子裡，咬緊牙關，回應了他們每一個傲慢的問題和陳述。我來這裡是尋找客觀和支援的，但我卻感到了被驅逐和被迫沉默，我討厭這樣的自己。我討厭自己讓人們反覆的不尊重我。但這是我唯一的機會。
That was one of multiple consultations that I had to go to. At one point, I had seen five or six medical professionals in the same hour. The door to the exam room felt more like the door to a clown car. There's my primary, there's his colleague, the director, OK. It felt like I was asking them to infect me with smallpox instead of, I don't know, obtain birth control.
這是我必須參加的多次磋商之一。有一次，我在一個小時內跟五到六個醫療專家會面。通往檢驗室的門更像是小丑車的門。有我的醫生，他的同事，還有主任，好吧。感覺好像是我要求他們讓我感染天花，而不是做節育。
But I didn't waver, and I was persistent, and I eventually convinced one of them to allow the procedure. And even as I am in the room, signing the consent forms and getting the hormone shots and tying up loose ends ... my doctor is shaking his head in disapproval. "You'll change your mind."
但我不是搖擺不定的人，我很堅持，終於說服了一個醫生同意做手術。即使我在手術室裡，在同意書上簽字，注射了荷爾蒙針，深呼吸準備的時候，我的醫生還在搖頭表示不贊同。“你會改變你的想法的。”
I never really understood how strongly this society clings to this role until I went through this. I experienced firsthand, repeatedly, how people, be it medical providers, colleagues, strangers, were literally unable to separate me being a woman from me being a mother. And I've always believed that having children was an extension of womanhood, not the definition.
我從來沒有真正感受到這個社會對母親角色的執著，直到我經歷了這一切。我不斷的親身經歷，醫生，同事，陌生人，怎麼也無法把我從一個母親和女人的身份中區別開來。我一直相信，生育子女是女性身份的延伸而非定義。
I believe that a woman's value should never be determined by whether or not she has a child, because that strips her of her entire identity as an adult unto herself. Women have this amazing ability to create life, but when we say that that is her purpose, that says that her entire existence is a means to an end.
我相信一個女人的價值不應該以是否有孩子來判斷，因為這剝離了她作為成年人的整個身份。女人有創造生命的奇妙能力，但當我們說這是她生命的意義時，就等於說她的存在只是實現這種意義的手段。
It's so easy to forget the roles that society places on us are so much more than mere titles. What about the weight that comes with them, the pressure to conform to these standards ... the fear associated with questioning them, and the desires that we cast aside to accept them? There are many paths to happiness and fulfillment. They all look very different, but I believe that every one is paved with the right to self-determination.
我們很容易忘記，社會賦予我們的角色遠比頭銜來的重要。那麼那些隨角色而來的重量、遵守規則的壓力、質疑他們帶來的恐懼、為接受他們而拋棄的慾望，又該怎麼辦呢？通往幸福和滿足的路有很多。它們看上去都不一樣，但我相信每個人都能自主決定如何鋪設這條路。
I want women to know that your choice to embrace or forego motherhood is not in any way tied to your worthiness or identity as spouses, as adults, or as women ... and there absolutely is a choice behind maternity, and it is yours and yours alone.
我想讓女性們知道，你是否選擇作為一個母親和你的價值，以及作為配偶、成人或者女人的身份毫無關係...在母性的背後絕對有一個選擇，它是屬於你的，僅僅屬於你。
Thank you.
謝謝。