你好像胖了 没事我可以陪你减肥 明天我们戒荤（结婚）吧！
You seem to be fat and I can accompany you to lose weight. Let's get married tomorrow!
你有《时间简史》嘛？我有时间捡那玩意儿干嘛！
Do you have a brief history of time? Why would I have time to pick that up!
女朋友问我，为什么你的手热，我的手凉？我说，因为我是小伙子，你是小姑凉！
My girlfriend asked me why your hands are hot and my hands are cold? I said, because I am a young man, you are a little girl!
把鸡和稀饭一起炒，这就会得到一碗炒鸡稀饭泥。
Stir-fry the chicken and rice porridge together, and you will get a bowl of fried chicken rice porridge mud.
当你洗衣服没有洗衣粉时候，嘴里咬一张扑克牌，因为雕牌洗衣粉。
When you wash clothes without detergent, bite a playing card in your mouth, because carving detergent.
女孩子要稍微做点坏事，然后老天一生气，就给你发个小伙。
A girl should do something bad, and then God will send you a boy when she is angry.
我给你科普一下鸭的种类：小黄鸭、可达鸭、北京烤鸭、你有没有想我鸭～
I'll give you some information about the types of ducks: Little Yellow Duck, Koda Duck, Beijing Roast Duck, have you missed my duck?
在家不小心撞到桌角，桌上的抹布掉下来，居然滚出了门外，原来是布能出门。
At home accidentally hit the corner of the table, the table rag fell down, actually rolled out of the door, the original cloth can go out.
我说我喜欢李 白，陆 游 气坏了，于是我家不能上网了。
I said I like Li Bai, Lu You is angry, so my family can not access the Internet.
我想一夜暴富，实在不行抱你也可以。
I want to get rich overnight, and I can hug you if I can't.
今天给你科普下果泥，土豆泥，红薯泥，紫薯泥，我今天很想泥。
Today, I will give you mashed fruit, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes and mashed purple potatoes. I want to make mashed potatoes today.
小狗和小猫还有小兔一起上语文课，老师要抽一位小动物背诵课文，猜猜会抽中谁？小狗，因为旺旺仙贝！
Puppy and kitten and bunny have Chinese class together, the teacher wants to draw a small animal to recite the text, guess who will be drawn? Puppy, because of Wang Wang Xian Bei!
有一块玻璃它有点困了，然后它从楼上跳下来并且说：晚安，我碎啦！
There is a piece of glass, it is a little sleepy, and then it jumped down from upstairs and said: "Good night, I am broken!"!
我去买生 蚝，回家的路上生 蚝全跳下袋子，钻到泥土里，原来这叫蚝喜欢泥～
I went to buy oysters, oysters on the way home all jumped out of the bag, drilling into the soil, the original called oysters like mud ~
有一天，小鸭对小鸡表白：“小鸡，我爱你。” 小鸡：“你duck不必。”
One day, the duckling confesses to the chicken: "Chicken, I love you." Chicken: "You don't have to."
学校新装修，校长巡视了一遍，还算满意地说，要是能再来点绿化那就好了。第二天，学校里撒满了盐。
The school is newly decorated, the principal inspected it again, and said with satisfaction that it would be good if it could be afforested again. The next day, the school was full of salt.
蜡烛：“妈妈我们的火苗为什么一跳一跳的？”蜡烛妈妈：“傻孩子，因为我们是精神小火啊！”
CANDLE: "Mother, why do our flames jump and jump?" CANDLE MOTHER: "Silly Child, because we are the spirit of small fire Ah!"