【國際漢語教師】悦讀美文 | 英文版《荷塘月色》感受荷塘月色之美
今天，就為大家帶來《荷塘月色》的英譯版 Moonlight over the Lotus Pond，來自著名翻譯家朱純深。
Moonlight over the Lotus Pond
作：朱自清 ，譯：朱純深
這幾天心裏頗不寧靜。今晚在院子裏坐着乘涼，忽然想起日日走過的荷塘，在這滿月的光裏，總該另有一番樣子吧。月亮漸漸地升高了，牆外馬路上孩子們的歡笑，已經聽不見了；妻在屋裏拍着閏兒，迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌。我悄悄地披了大衫，帶上門出去。
It has been rather disquieting these days. Tonight, when I was sitting in the yard enjoying the cool, it occurred to me that the Lotus Pond, which I pass by every day, must assume quite a different look in such moonlit night. A full moon was rising high in the sky; the laughter of children playing outside had died away; in the room, my wife was patting the son, Run-er, sleepily humming a cradle song. Shrugging on an overcoat, quietly, I made my way out, closing the door behind me.
Alongside the Lotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath. It is peaceful and secluded here, a place not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looks more solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond. On the side where the path is , there are willows, interlaced with some others whose names I do not know. The foliage, which , in a moonless night, would loom somewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not more than a thin, grayish veil.
路上只我一個人，揹着手踱着。這一片天地好像是我的；我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界裏。我愛熱鬧，也愛冷靜；愛羣居，也愛獨處。像今晚上，一個人在這蒼茫的月下，什麼都可以想，什麼都可以不想，便覺是個自由的人。白天裏一定要做的事，一定要説的話，現在都可不理。這是獨處的妙處，我且受用這無邊的荷香月色好了。
I am on my own, strolling, hands behind my back. This bit of the universe seems in my possession now; and I myself seem to have been uplifted from my ordinary self into another world. I like a serene and peaceful life, as much as a busy and active one; I like being in solitude , as much as in company. As it is tonight , basking in a misty moonshine all by myself, I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, or of nothing. All that one is obliged to do, or to say, in the daytime, can be very well cast aside now. That is the beauty of being alone. For the moment, just let me indulge in this profusion of moonlight and lotus fragrance.
All over this winding stretch of water, what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves, reaching rather high above the surface, like the skirts of dancing girls in all their grace. Here and there, layers of leaves are dotted with white lotus blossoms , some in demure bloom, others in shy bud, like scattering pearls, or twinkling stars, or beauties just out of the bath. A breeze stirs, sending over breaths of fragrance, like faint singing drifting from a distant building. At this moment, a tiny thrill shoots through the leaves and lilies, like a streak of lightning, straight across the forest of lotuses. The leaves, which have been standing shoulder to shoulder, are caught shimmering in an emerald heave of the pond. Underneath, the exquisite water is covered from view, and none can tell its color ; yet the leaves on top project themselves all the more attractively.
The moon sheds her liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers, which, in the floating transparency of a bluish haze from the pond, look as if they had just been bathed in milk, or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood. Although it is a full moon, shining through a film of clouds, the light is not at its brightest; it is, however, just right for me --- a profound sleep is indispensable, yet a snatched doze also has a savor of its own. The moonlight is streaming down through the foliage, casting bushy shadows on the ground form high above, jagged and checkered, as grotesque as party of specters; whereas the benign figures of the dropping willows, here and there, look like paintings on the lotus leaves. The moonlight is not spread evenly over the pond, but rather in a harmonious rhythm of light and shade, like a famous melody played on a violin.
Around the pond, far and near, high and low, are trees. Most of them are willows. Only on the path side, can two or three gaps be seen through the heavy fringe, as if specially reserved for the moon. The shadowy shapes of the leafage at first sight seem diffused into a mass of mist, against which, however, the charm of those willow trees is still discernible. Over the trees appear some distant mountains, but merely in sketchy silhouette. Through the branches are also a couple of lamps, as listless as sleepy eyes. The most lively creatures here, for the moment, must be the cicadas in the trees and the frogs in the pond. But the liveliness is theirs, I have nothing.
Suddenly, something like lotus-gathering crosses my mind. It used to be celebrated as a folk festival in the South, probably dating very far back in history, most popular in the period of Six Dynasties. We can pick up some outlines of this activity in the poetry. It was young girls who went gathering lotuses, in sampans and singing love songs. Needless to say, there were a great number of them doing the gathering, apart from those who were watching. It was a lively season, brimming with vitality, and romance. A brilliant description can be found in Lotus Gathering written by the Yuan Emperor of the Liang Dynasty:
於是妖童媛女，盪舟心許；鷁首徐回，兼傳羽杯；欋將移而藻掛，船欲動而萍開。爾其纖腰束素，遷延顧步；夏始春餘，葉嫩花初，恐沾裳而淺笑，畏傾船而斂裾。
可見當時嬉遊的光景了。這真是有趣的事，可惜我們現在早已無福消受了。
That is a glimpse of those merrymaking scenes. It must have been fascinating; but unfortunately we have long been denied such a delight.
Then I recall those lines in Ballad of Xizhou Island:
採蓮南塘秋，蓮花過人頭；低頭弄蓮子，蓮子清如水。
Gathering the lotus, I am in the South Pond, / the lilies in autumn reach over my head; / Lowering my head I toy with the lotus seeds. / Look, they are as fresh as the water underneath.
今晚若有采蓮人，這兒的蓮花也算得“過人頭”了；只不見一些流水的影子，是不行的。這令我到底惦着江南了。——這樣想着，猛一抬頭，不覺已是自己的門前；輕輕地推門進去，什麼聲息也沒有，妻已睡熟好久了。
If there were somebody gathering lotuses tonight, she could tell that the lilies here are high enough to “reach over her head”; but, one would certainly miss the sight of the water. So my memories drift back to the South after all.Deep in my thoughts, I looked up, just to find myself at the door of my own house. Gently I pushed the door open and walked in. Not a sound inside, my wife had been fast asleep for quite a while.
1927年7月，北京清華園。
Qinghua Campus, Beijing
July, 1927
本篇為中國現代文學名作之一，體現了作者很高的語言藝術。英譯文的遣詞造句着力於傳達的形象和音樂美，意在從整體效果上追求原文作者所傳達的意境。
疊聲詞的頻繁出現是本篇的文體特點之一。此處的“蓊蓊鬱鬱”，除“茂盛”（luxuriant）外，由於疊聲的效果，還帶着一種朦朧迷離的韻味。從上下文看，甚至還透出作者“鬱郁”的心境呢。譯文用了lush，shady ambience一語，意在詞義之外，藉助sh音的重複來傳達更多層次的意思。
平型結構的多次運用也是本篇原文的文體特色之一。從這句原文中我們可以看到，這一句法結構因其在短語或句一級的重複，非常有效地加強了文字的節奏感。譯文利用英文中平型結構的類似效果，力圖產生相應的感染力。
這一組句子中頻頻出現的疊聲詞和平型結構所達到的音義相映，時空延綿，形象通感，在譯文中採用了不同的手法力圖取得相應效果。其中ⅰ用的是“變語”（elegant variation，即不重複原文的“荷塘”）和頭韻法（winding……water， what……）；ⅱ着重捕捉觸覺和空間的印象（silken field）；ⅲ從內容、意義着手追求句法的節奏；ⅳ藉助音律和頭韻（如layers of leaves）。
原文的特殊效果在譯文中沒能傳達出來，但從總體上看，譯文在可能的地方注意到了語言的音樂美（如一些長輔音，長元音的運用便是為了彌補類似的局部損失）。
此句中的“熱鬧”用lively和vitality二詞譯，前者意在呼應上文，後者平衡句子節奏。
“花初”意指“花初開”，譯為blooming（在開放），而不是budding。
原文忽略了主語（人物），在譯文中需要補足，可供選擇的有第一和第三人稱。選用第一人稱，是為了更貼近地刻畫女主人公的心理。“秋”移至第二行譯作the lilies的後置定語，是為了補足原文意思和平衡句式。
一作“青”，譯作green，此處從原作的引文，譯為fresh。